Matching with a Host Family#

This is one of the most important steps in your au pair journey. The family you match with will become your life for the next year. So take this seriously.

Let me walk you through exactly how it works.

Creating Your Profile#

Before any family can find you, you need a strong profile. This is your first impression, and it matters a lot.

Your profile will include:

• Photos — Include clear, friendly photos of you with children. Not selfies at the club. Families want to see you interacting with kids.
• A video introduction — This is huge. Speak in English, smile, and talk about why you want to be an au pair. Keep it 2-3 minutes. Show your personality.
• Childcare experience — Be specific. Don't just say "I like kids." Say "I babysat my neighbor's two children (ages 3 and 5) every weekend for two years."
• Hobbies and interests — Families want someone interesting who will bring something to their home. Sports, cooking, music, art — share what makes you unique.
• Preferences — You can list where you want to live, what ages of children you prefer, whether you are comfortable with pets, and more.

The stronger your profile, the faster you will match. Simple as that.

How Matching Works#

There are two ways it happens:

1. Families browse profiles and contact you. They see your profile, like what they see, and reach out through the agency.
2. Your agency suggests matches. Your coordinator looks at your preferences and the family's needs and connects you.

Either way, the next step is always the same — a video call.

The Video Interview#

Think of this as a job interview, because that is exactly what it is. The family wants to know if you are the right person to care for their children. You want to know if this is the right home for you.

Here is the thing most people get wrong: they are so desperate to match that they say yes to any family. Do not do this. A bad match means a miserable year. Take your time.

Questions You Should Ask the Family#

Ask these. Seriously. Write them down before the call.

• What does a typical day look like?
• What are your expectations for the au pair?
• What are the house rules?
• Will I have access to a car? Can I use it on my days off?
• Will I have my own room with a door that locks?
• What is the neighborhood like? Are there other au pairs nearby?
• Have you hosted an au pair before? What happened with the last one?
• How old are the children? Do any of them have special needs?
• How do you handle conflict or disagreements?
• What do you do as a family on weekends?

If a family gets annoyed by these questions, that is a red flag. Good families expect you to ask.

Questions Families Will Ask You#

Be ready for these:

• Tell us about your experience with children.
• Why do you want to be an au pair in America?
• Can you cook? What can you make?
• Do you have a driver's license? Are you comfortable driving in the US?
• How will you handle homesickness?
• How do you discipline children?
• What would you do in an emergency?

Be honest. Do not exaggerate your experience. If you cannot cook, say so. If you have never driven on the right side of the road, say that. Honesty now prevents problems later.

Red Flags — Walk Away#

If you notice any of these, think very carefully before saying yes:

• Vague answers about your schedule or duties. If they cannot tell you what your day looks like, they probably expect you to do everything.
• Excessive hours. Au pairs work a maximum of 45 hours per week and 10 hours per day. If the family hints at more, run.
• No car access. In most of America, you need a car to do anything. No car means you are stuck at home on your days off.
• Isolation from the community. If the family lives far from everything with no other au pairs nearby, you will be lonely.
• Treating you as a housekeeper. You are there for childcare, not to clean the whole house, do the family's laundry, or cook every meal.
• They have gone through many au pairs. One rematch can happen. Three or four? The problem is the family.

Green Flags — Good Signs#

Look for these:

• Clear expectations. They can tell you exactly what your duties are and what your schedule will look like.
• Welcoming attitude. They ask about your interests, your goals, your comfort.
• Past au pair experience. Families who have hosted before usually know how to make it work.
• Close to other au pairs. This means you will have a social life and a support system.
• They want you to be part of the family. They talk about family dinners, outings, and including you in their life.

Be Honest Before You Match#

I cannot stress this enough. If you hate waking up early, do not match with a family that needs you at 6 AM. If you are uncomfortable with babies, do not match with a family that has a newborn. If you want to live in a city, do not match with a family in the countryside just because they were the first to reach out.

A year is a long time. Make sure it is a year you can actually enjoy.

What If You Don't Match Right Away?#

This happens. Do not panic.

• Improve your profile. Get better photos. Re-record your video. Add more details about your experience.
• Expand your preferences. If you only want to live in New York City, you are limiting yourself. Be open to more locations.
• Be patient. Matching can take weeks or even months. This is normal.
• Stay in touch with your agency coordinator. Let them know you are still available and motivated.

The Rematch Process#

Sometimes a match does not work out. Maybe you arrive and the family is completely different from what they described. Maybe there is a conflict that cannot be resolved.

If this happens, you contact your agency and request a rematch. Here is what you need to know:

• You typically get 2 weeks to find a new family.
• Your agency will actively help you find a new match.
• During the rematch period, you may stay with a temporary host family or at a location arranged by your agency.
• If no new match is found within the 2-week window, you may need to return home.

Rematch is not failure. Sometimes families and au pairs are just not compatible. But it is stressful, so do everything you can to match well the first time.

The bottom line: matching is a two-way street. The family is choosing you, but you are also choosing them. Make a smart choice.