Frequently Asked Questions#

These are the questions I get asked the most. If you have been reading through this course and still have questions, chances are the answer is here.

Can I choose which state I live in?#

You can list preferences. You can say "I want to live near a big city" or "I prefer warm weather." But there is no guarantee. Your match depends on which families are looking for an au pair at the same time as you.

If you are too picky about location, you will limit your options and it will take longer to match. My advice: be open. You might end up in a state you never even thought about and love it.

Do I need to know how to drive?#

Strongly recommended. In most of the US, you need a car to do anything — grocery shopping, taking kids to school, getting to activities. Public transport exists in a few big cities, but most host families are in suburban areas where driving is essential.

Some families will list "must have a driver's license" as a requirement. Not having one eliminates you from a large number of families.

Get your driver's license before you apply. It significantly increases your chances of matching.

Can I bring my boyfriend or girlfriend?#

No. Au pairs come alone. This is not a couples program. Your partner cannot come with you on a dependent visa — the J-1 au pair category does not allow it.

If you are in a relationship, have an honest conversation about what a year apart will look like before you commit to the program.

What if I don't like my host family?#

It happens. Sometimes families and au pairs are just not a good fit, even when the matching process went well.

If you are having issues, the first step is always to talk about it — with your host family and with your Local Coordinator. Many problems can be solved with open communication.

If the situation cannot be fixed, you can request a rematch through your agency. They will try to place you with a new family. You typically get about 2 weeks to find a new match. If no match is found within that time, you may have to return home.

Rematch is not the end of the world. But it is stressful, so try to resolve issues before it gets to that point.

How much money can I save?#

This depends entirely on your spending habits. Your room and board are free. Your weekly stipend is at least $195.75.

If you are disciplined — cook your own meals on days off, do not go shopping every weekend, limit eating out — you can realistically save $200-400 per month. Over a year, that is $2,400 to $4,800.

If you spend every dollar as soon as you get it, you will save nothing. The choice is yours.

Can I travel during my time off?#

Yes, during your vacation time. You get 2 weeks of paid vacation during your program year. Many au pairs use this to travel to other states or cities.

You can also do short trips on your days off, as long as you are back for your next shift. Weekend trips are very common among au pairs.

And after your program ends, you have a 30-day travel grace period to explore the US before you leave.

Is the au pair program a path to a green card?#

No. The au pair program is a temporary cultural exchange program. It is not an immigration pathway.

Your J-1 visa is valid only for the duration of your program (plus the 30-day grace period). After that, you must leave.

Here is the important part: for many countries, the J-1 visa comes with a 2-year home residency requirement. This means you must live in your home country for 2 years before you can apply for certain other US visas, like an H-1B work visa or a green card through a family member.

There are waivers available in some cases, but do not count on them. If your long-term goal is to live in the US permanently, the au pair program is not the way to get there. It is a cultural experience, and it is a great one, but go in with the right expectations.

Can I become an au pair if I'm male?#

Yes. Male au pairs exist. Some people call them "bro pairs."

Male au pairs are fully accepted in the program. You go through the same process, have the same rights, and follow the same rules.

That said, demand is lower. Most families looking for an au pair prefer females. But there are families who specifically want a male au pair — especially families with boys who want a strong male role model.

It might take longer to match as a male au pair, but it absolutely happens. Do not let your gender stop you from applying.

What if I don't have a driver's license?#

Get one before you apply. I am serious.

Not having a license dramatically reduces the number of families willing to match with you. Most American families live in areas where driving is the only way to get around. They need an au pair who can drive their kids to school, to activities, and to playdates.

If getting a license is not possible in your country before you apply, be upfront about it. Some families in cities with good public transit (New York, Chicago, San Francisco) may not require driving. But these spots are competitive and limited.

Can I study full-time while being an au pair?#

No. The education component is part-time. You are required to take at least 6 credits of coursework during your year, but your au pair duties always come first.

You are not a student who babysits on the side. You are an au pair who takes some classes. The priority is childcare.

That said, the classes you take can be valuable. Use them to learn something you are passionate about or to explore a career path.

What happens if I break the rules?#

The consequences are serious.

If you violate the terms of your J-1 visa — working outside your au pair duties, staying beyond your authorized period, not fulfilling your program obligations — your visa can be terminated. This means you will be sent home, and it will go on your immigration record.

A terminated visa makes it extremely difficult to get any US visa in the future. It is not worth it.

Follow the rules. Do your job well. Complete your education requirement. And if you have questions about what you can and cannot do, ask your agency.

How do taxes work for au pairs?#

Your au pair stipend is taxable income in the United States. This surprises a lot of people.

Here is what you need to know:

• You will need to file a US tax return after the calendar year ends (by April 15 of the following year).
• Au pairs are typically considered nonresident aliens for tax purposes.
• You will file using Form 1040-NR.
• Depending on the state you live in, you may also owe state income taxes. Some states (like Texas and Florida) have no state income tax. Others (like California and New York) do.
• Your host family does not withhold taxes from your stipend. This means you may owe money when you file.
• There may be tax treaties between the US and your home country that reduce what you owe. Look into this.

Your agency may provide guidance on filing taxes, or you can use a tax preparation service that works with nonresident aliens. Do not ignore this — the IRS takes tax filing seriously, and you want a clean record.

Still Have Questions?#

The au pair program is a big decision. If something is not covered here, reach out to your agency directly. They have heard every question and they are there to help.

The most important thing is to go in informed. You now have the knowledge to make smart decisions throughout this process. Use it.